Why we make decisions and still don’t act on them
Many people make thoughtful, well-considered decisions. They analyse their situation, recognise the need for change, and clearly understand what would need to shift. And yet, after the decision is made, nothing changes.
This phenomenon is widespread and is rarely a sign of weakness or a lack of discipline. Rather, it reflects deeply rooted psychological mechanisms that become active precisely when change turns concrete.
Between decision and action, three central barriers tend to emerge:
- fear of loss and uncertainty,
- letting go of familiar roles, structures, and self-images,
- inner protective mechanisms that aim to preserve stability.
Change directly affects our sense of security, our identity, and our relationships. This is why insight alone is rarely sufficient.
losses weigh heavier than gains (Kahneman & Tversky, 1979)
This article explores the psychological barriers behind stalled change and shows how the transition from decision to action can become possible.
1. Inner drivers and self-sabotage - why we block ourselves
Many people explain hesitation as a lack of courage or discipline. In periods of change, behaviour is often guided by inner drivers that operate below conscious awareness. These drivers develop early in life. They help us achieve performance, stability, and recognition.
The five inner drivers are:
- Be perfect - only start when everything is right
- Be liked - avoid conflict, meet expectations
- Be diligent - keep going, push through
- Be strong - stay in control, show no weakness
- Be fast - increase pace, create pressure
Our personality is shaped by all of these drivers, with some being more dominant than others. During change, however, they often turn into obstacles.
Change inevitably involves uncertainty, mistakes, and friction. Inner drivers try to prevent exactly that. The result is self-sabotage: decisions are made, but not implemented - driven by the need for stability.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” - C. G. Jung
Change stalls when unconscious inner patterns block implementation.
Inner drivers cannot be switched off, but they can be balanced. Permissions introduce conscious alternatives that expand behavioural options.
Choose one inner driver that currently influences you most and consciously practise the corresponding permission.
| Inner driver | Typical pattern | Helpful permissions |
|---|---|---|
| Be perfect | Only start when everything is right. | I am allowed to improvise. I am allowed to make mistakes and learn. |
| Be liked | Avoid conflict and meet expectations. | My needs matter. Not everyone has to agree with me. |
| Be diligent | Keep going, push through, do more. | Rest is part of performance. I am allowed to ask for help. |
| Be strong | Stay in control and show no weakness. | I can delegate. I can adjust decisions. |
| Be fast | Increase pace and create pressure. | I am allowed to take the time I need. |
2. Deciding means letting go and that creates stress
Decisions often appear rational, yet they are emotionally charged. Every real decision closes off alternatives.
Behavioural economics describes this as loss aversion: losses are perceived more intensely than gains. As a result, we tend to hold on to what is familiar, even when it no longer serves us.
A career change, for example, means:
- giving up security
- losing status and routines
- disappointing the expectations of others
The same pattern appears in our personal lives:
- roles begin to shift
- relationships react
- our self-image starts to waver
What is often overlooked: stress doesn’t come from making a decision, but from holding on to alternatives at the same time.
Holding on internally - to options, roles, or expectations - keeps the system under tension. This tension is experienced as stress.
Inner drivers amplify this effect. Perfectionism, the need for approval, or control make clear decisions harder.
Holding on drains energy - letting go releases energy.
When facing a decision, ask yourself:
- What am I still holding on to internally?
- What would ease if I let go?
3. Fear and the comfort zone - why uncertainty accompanies growth
Fear often appears when decisions become tangible. It signals uncertainty and activates protective responses.
The comfort zone describes familiar patterns that provide stability and predictability. During change, it becomes limiting because new possibilities lie outside of it.
Fear slows us down and prompts reflection. When interpreted as a signal, it offers orientation for the next step. When treated as a stop sign, change remains theoretical.
Fear marks the boundary between the familiar and the new.
For an upcoming change, define a small, manageable step outside your comfort zone and ask:
- What exactly feels threatening about this step?
- What can I learn from it, even if it doesn’t go perfectly?
In this way, fear becomes a point of orientation for growth.
4. Self-efficacy - how action builds trust
Many people wait for certainty before acting. In change processes, however, certainty often emerges only through experience. This is exactly where the concept of self-efficacy comes in.
Psychologist Albert Bandura describes self-efficacy as the belief in one’s ability to handle challenges through one’s own actions. It grows through completed steps and mastered situations.
People with high self-efficacy:
- act earlier
- stay committed longer
- handle setbacks more constructively
During periods of change, attention often focuses on what is still missing. A conscious shift in perspective helps: looking at what has already been managed demonstrates existing capability.
Those who act gather evidence of their own competence and build trust in themselves.
Write down:
- challenges you have overcome
- changes you have already implemented
- skills you have developed
Use this inventory as a stabilising reference point before making decisions.
5. Your personal Why - stability for change
Change only lasts when it is internally supported. A clear personal why provides orientation and stability during periods of uncertainty.
It helps set priorities and put decisions and setbacks into perspective. People who know their why remain capable of acting even when external circumstances are challenging.
It is helpful to consciously distinguish between a professional and a personal why. These areas often follow different motivations and values:
- A professional why may be rooted in impact, creative freedom, or responsibility.
- A personal why is often guided by quality of life, relationships, and health.
When change is connected to these inner drivers, stability emerges. Decisions become clearer, and resistance can be handled more constructively.
“Those who have a why to live can bear almost any how.” – Viktor E. Frankl
It supports consistent action beyond the moment.
Formulate your personal why using these prompts:
- What matters most to me at this stage of life?
- Which areas do I want to shape consciously?
- What should become possible in the long term?
Your why can evolve as you evolve.
Conclusion: Change emerges through conscious self-leadership
Change begins with a decision; it becomes effective through action.
The five chapters of this article illustrate why this step is often difficult and how it can succeed.
- Inner drivers influence our behavior more strongly than we realize.
- Decisions create tension when letting go is avoided.
- Fear accompanies growth once we leave familiar patterns.
- Self-efficacy develops through experience.
- A clear personal why gives change direction and stability.
Change is a process of conscious self-leadership. Those who understand their inner mechanisms are able to act with intention and clarity.
Summary of tools
| Tool | Purpose |
|---|---|
| Inner driver awareness | Identify internal barriers |
| Permissions | Expand room for action |
| Letting-go questions | Reduce decision stress |
| Comfort-zone steps | Use fear constructively |
| Success inventory | Strengthen self-efficacy |
| Personal why | Stabilise change |
Preview of the next article
The next article explores how change becomes sustainable in everyday life: through clear expectations, defined roles, and conscious communication, both professionally and personally.
Sources
Zbinden, M. (2022): Menschlichkeit in der Führung. Springer Gabler. German only.
Müllner, M., Müllner, C. (2021): Emotional intelligent führen. Springer Gabler. German only.
Frankl, V. E. (2011). Man's Search for Meaning.
Roth, G. (2025). Neuropsychologie der Veränderung. Roth Institut. German only.
https://roth-institut.de/roth-wissens-journal/wissen-change-management/neuropsychologie-der-veraenderung-intrinsische-motivation-fuer-nachhaltige-transformation-verstaerken
Kahneman, D., & Tversky, A. (1979). Prospect theory: An analysis of decision under risk. Econometrica, 47(2), 263–292.
https://doi.org/10.2307/1914185
Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215.
https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191
Bandura, A. (1986). Social foundations of thought and action: A social cognitive theory. Prentice-Hall, Inc.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1985-98423-000
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